Fiddle-Dee-Dee, Test Your Civil War Expertise

Anachronisms are people, or things, that show up where they don't belong. It's a nightmare for any historical fiction since these erroneous details declare, in no uncertain terms, the storyteller hasn't done her homework.

But never is this nightmare more vivid than when it pops up during the ever-popular, and well-documented, American Civil War. Experts abound. Scrutiny intensifies. Discrepancies are pointed out, loudly, for all the world to hear. And the reader, no longer able to suspend disbelief, moves on to something else.

A nightmare indeed!

Test your Civil War prowess with the excerpts below. Can you spot the historical errors?

1.  April 9, 1865

        My Darling,
        It is over. General Lee has recently gone to surrender God's great Army to General Sherman. This troubles me considerably, and renders it very difficult for me to write.

2.  He hurled his cigar to the ground and proceeded to tear down the hill, gatling gun on his shoulder, as if he might run through those Confederate walls on foot.

3. At that moment Ben stepped into his bedroom, a flickering fire to welcome him home, and found upon the rug a woman's dress, a ruffled hoop and a red bra with lacy cups and satin straps. He regarded the strange beauty on his bed, asleep beneath mosquito netting. Who was this angel?

4. "I have a fire going," she said.
    He glanced inside. "I can see."
    "Did you want to come in?"
    "I'm going to walk back to the chapel."
    Beyond his shoulder, she saw a dozen Federals crouching under the trees. "And let the rain fill your cowboy boots?" She grabbed his arm, earnest. "Come in, sir, you are welcomed here."

5. Amanda kept her counsel when she heard the fate of her uncle and cruel cousins. Imagine! Union soldiers inhabiting the old plantation, enjoying their precious Waterford crystal, Van Gogh paintings, that horrid mahogany Tester bed with carved owls. Serves them right. Serves them right! 

6. At Fort Pillow I remained under guard two weeks to a day, receiving in the main, most kind treatment, winning the confidence in my innocence of most of the officers and men, teaching the officers sword practice and the men bayonet exercise, and playing many a game of basketball. 

7. Belle immediately went for her opera-glasses, and, on her way to the balcony in front of the house, from which position she intended to reconnoitre, she was obliged to pass Mr. Clark's door. It was open, but the key was on the outside. The temptation of making a Yankee prisoner was too strong to be resisted, and, yielding to the impulse, she quietly locked in the "Special Correspondent" of the New York Herald. After this feat she hurried to the balcony, and, by the aid of her blue cell phone, described the advance-guard.

1. Robert E. Lee surrendered to Ulysses S. Grant in the McLean House near Appomattox Court House. William Tecumseh Sherman was in North Carolina at that moment, days away from negotiating a Confederate surrender from Joseph E. Johnston.

2. The Gatling gun, patented in 1862 by Richard Gatling, weighed about 100 pounds and required four operators.

3. French designer Herminie Cadolle invented the first modern bra, with cups and straps, in 1889. Her creation premiered at the Great Exposition in Paris (for which the Eiffel Tower was built) and became an instant success.  

4. Cowboy boots were invented around 1870 when cowboys were driving cattle west across the United States. They soon realized they needed special footwear with square and pointy toes to place into stirrups, with tall, sturdy sides to protect their legs from snakes and animal kicks, with soles thick enough to protect their feet from rocky terrains and with heels high enough to keep feet from slipping out of the stirrups. Until 1940, when cowboy boots were mass produced, cowboys had to take their boots to a custom shoemaker to request these changes.   

5. Vincent van Gogh began painting in 1881. He was a mere twelve years old at the end of the Civil War.

6. Canadian Athletic Director, James Naismith invented basketball in early December 1891 as a way to keep his YMCA gym class active on a rainy day. Twenty-six years after the Civil War ended.

7. Kidding. We all know the cell phones of Confederate belles were gray.

© 2010 Elizabeth Guy