EXAMPLE:
Maxine was a thirty-six year old divorcee. She had on a pair of blue jean shorts and a pink top that tied in the back and showed her ample cleavage. She had a tiny waist. She had long legs. She had on white high heels and her red toenails poked out evenly. 

CLEANED UP:
If ever Maxine needed a friend, it was now, in this rough biker bar. Not a familiar face in sight. She took a deep breath and strolled to the bar, fully aware the combination of her shorts, cleavage and high heels had just silenced every man in the room.  

EXAMPLE:
The large house stood on a hill. A paved drive led up to a five-car garage. An immaculate lawn spread out on both sides of the rock walkway that led to the front porch. Bushes, trees and flowers of all kinds were scattered about the property. Birds played in a shallow pool. Double doors, made of mahogany, hung at the entrance. The doorbell sounded like wind chimes.  

Inside, two spiral staircases descended from the second floor. The banisters were made of thick dark wood that followed the same lines of the steps. They curved toward a round table with a huge vase of fresh flowers. A few framed photographs, probably Mr. Waterman's children, were beside the flowers. Above the table hung a chandelier with more crystal pieces than I had ever seen. On my right, were large Ming vases on either side of double doors that led to other rooms. On my left, were a row of tall artwork of men in uniforms and women in old gowns. Heavy curtains hung over the arched window at the top of the stairs. The floor was shiny marble, like a skating rink.  

CLEANED UP:
Mr. Waterman was a wealthy man. One look at his mansion on the hill told me that. And as I raced toward the mahogany doors at his grand entrance, I could think of a few reasons why somebody might want him dead. 

I heard a scream from inside, and kicked the door open. Suddenly I was in the strange opulent world of spiral staircases, Ming vases and crystal chandeliers. But before I could take it all in, another scream pierced the air. I ran toward the room that appeared to be Mr. Waterman's wood-paneled study.