I am Professor Write-A-Lot and I now possess this corner of The VERB because I know everything about writing. See, I have a stick. Only those who know everything about writing are allowed a stick.

Do come in. Please ignore the scattered manuscripts, step over the stacked books and avoid the dog's bone. One has a question, does one? Very well. Ask away, and I shall share my brilliance!

Dear Professor Write-A-Lot,
I notice you sponsor no-fee contests (good for you!) but I also notice that on your Contests on the Web page, you list other contests that do have entry fees. Haven't you heard of the writer motto, "money always flows toward the writer"?

Always? This certainly applies to literary agents, but all things writerly? Imagine, if one will, other professionals adopting this blanket stance. What if one's doctor or dentist could get away with shrugging off all required investments and simply hanging out a shingle? Hey, money should always flow toward me! Now, come inside so that I may cut you!

Ludicrous, that.

Luckily, a writer need only a computer to set up shop, yet owning a computer makes a writer not. One must learn the craft. And while there are indeed free resources available (one is reading one right now), there are also many legitimate fee-based resources—conferences, classes, consultations, magazines, books and, yes, writing contests—designed to help writers perfect that craft. 

It is incumbent upon the writer, therefore, to approach writing contests individually, with one's head on straight and one's goals in sight. What are the benefits? How will this contest help my career, even if I don't win? Challenge me? Temporarily distract me from my novel? Discounts on books or services? Recognition?

The prestigious Nicholl Fellowships in Screenwriting, for example, requires a $30 entry fee. That may seem exorbitant to some. But when one considers the prize—five winners receive $30,000 each and all finalists are inundated with requests to read their scripts from major production companies—it fast becomes a wise investment. (Our very own editor, Elizabeth, has firsthand knowledge of this one.) Rather than fret over how to lift one's screenplay above the thousands floating around Hollywood, these yearly finalists get one foot firmly planted in the door. And many go on to see their scripts on the screen.

So 'tis wise to tread carefully, but 'tis dangerous to generalize. This causes tunnel vision, which may result in missed opportunities. These days, one has no excuse not to research a writing contest prior to opening one's wallet. But one should not allow the entry fee to be one's only criterion. 

Dear Professor Write-A-Lot,
What's so bad about adverbs? And why is everyone always saying don't use them? They're words, aren't they?

Indeed. An excessive amount of adverbs, however, is also the true mark of an amateur. Mark retorted angrily. Susan shouted impatiently. Ferdinand rejoined indignantly. Makes one wince, no?

If one wishes to truly shine as a unique storyteller, rely not on silly adverbs to reveal emotions. Show them through action.

"I don't think so!" Mark kicked the door and stormed out. (Hmm, Mark is angry.)

"You!" Susan said, snapping her fingers at the guy on the stairs. "Get off that phone and get to work! You've got ten minutes to paint that wall! God Almighty, what is your problem?" (Hmm, Susan is impatient.)  

"Sir, I've better things to do with my time," Ferdinand said, and waved the reporter away. (Hmm, Ferdinand is indignant.)

Dear Professor Write-A-Lot,
My two books on writing (The Elements of Style and A Dash of Style) don't seem to address the problem I'm having: What do you do when you remove the first letter of a word inside quotation marks? Such as:

“Oh…. But why is he still, like, here?”
“‘Cause when I tried to take him home, I ended up with a knife in my back.”

Or:
"'Ey, now, wot's all this, then?"

Should I omit the apostrophe? Do I need a space between the quotation marks and the apostrophe? (That looks about the best but doesn't feel right.) Is there a rule? If so, what is it?

The apostrophe here denotes the omission of be in because. If one were to remove the little punctuation mark, one would be left with the word cause, which carries several meanings.

Therefore, the apostrophe remains with the word at all times, even at the beginning of a sentence that is encapsulated with quotation marks. One's example is correct: quotation mark, immediately followed by the apostrophe, immediately followed by the capital letter: "'Cause..." No spaces between.

Do be aware that in the second example, the word ey is an interjection of wonder or inquiry, and requires no apostrophe. If, however, one intends the word hey, the apostrophe denotes the omission of the h and is therefore appropriate.

Ask Professor Write-A-Lot!