Welcome to The VERB!

One day back in June, I contracted a severe bout of anti-clutter-itis. The symptoms consist of a clearing of one's eyes, a glancing about of one's humble abode and a subsequent screaming of one's larynx. Where, exactly, did all this crapola come from?

So bit by bit, when the heat and humidity allowed, I sorted through the boxes, baskets, crates, cabinets and other holders of unused stuff that we housed in our garage and basement. The majority of it hit the garbage can faster than a body could say, What the heck was that? But some things, such as an elaborate hamster house, were too nice to throw away. What to do? Well, I cleaned them up, snapped photos and posted them online.

The larger, more expensive items went on eBay. The rest went on craigslist. And I immediately learned something: it is actually possible to sell your crap within an hour! Who knew?

So now the garage and basement are clutter-free and my screams have been replaced with feng shui sighs. Ahhhhh. Others are enjoying our retired treasures and we have extra money for the holidays. It's a win-win situation. And it's pretty cool to be sitting at my desk, writing away, when numerous emails pop up to say, "Hey, I want to buy your stuff!"

Overall, the experience has been a positive one. We've had one "no show" and one buyer who wanted to return an item immediately afterward. We refunded her money because it was a brand new item, and we knew we'd sell it again in no time. And we did. But not a freak, weirdo or criminal in sight.

I can't guarantee the same results for you, of course, but if you're suffering from a bout of anti-clutter-itis and think you might want to sell things online, here are a few tips for a smooth and pleasant recovery.

1. Be safe. Never, ever invite an online shopper to your home. Meet them in a crowded place, such as a grocery store parking lot. When speaking with them via email or phone, use the word we a lot. This lets them know you probably won't be alone when you meet them, that other people are aware of this transaction. And when you meet, always have your cell phone in your hand.

2. Be original. Write a snappy headline and description. This is when your writing chops come in handy. There are hundreds of items listed on these sites with hundreds of boring headlines. Make yours stand out. Be energetic and unique. Believe me, folks will click it. Once you have their attention, give them clever descriptions and you've practically sold the items without breaking a sweat!

3. Be open. If your items are broken or imperfect in any way, say so in the ad. Take close-up photos. Let buyers know exactly what they're getting, and you'll always have happy customers.

4. Be fair. If you're unsure how much to ask, research the item. What's the current price of a brand new one? What are others on craigslist, eBay, etc., charging for a used one? Are theirs identical to yours? Are they throwing in any extras? How old is yours? How much wear and tear? How much would you pay for it? Be competitive, yes, but don't expect to make millions.

5. Be firm. Your price is your price. Don't be desperate to sell or intimidated by those who want to negotiate. If you've researched the item, you know you're offering a good deal, so stick to it. If this person doesn't want to pay it, believe me, another will. My standard response is, "Sorry, we have to get that price for that item." No problem. No more discussion.

6. Be prepared. Now that you've sparked interest,  how far are you willing to drive to make the transaction? My answer: a mile. If you live in a small town, this may be a non-issue. But if you live in a big city, this can become a big deal. Some potential customers may ask you to meet them halfway, which can be quite a trip. How much gas are you willing to burn to sell a $25 item? Answer this question ahead of time, and make it your standard policy. 

7. Be patient. As I said earlier, some things have sold within hours, others have taken much longer. Ads on craigslist expire in 30 days, but you can easily repost yours over and over. I've done this with three items, and the second month was the charm. They're all gone! So don't be discouraged if your things don't fly out of the house in a short time. Even if you don't have immediate sells, you should receive several queries during that time. I call these people "window shoppers." They want to know more about the item, but they're not really going to buy it. And that's fine. Someone will, eventually. If, however, you receive no response, reconsider your price and/or your description.

Once you have all your items listed and ready to head out the door, you can get back to your stories. And maybe you too will be on an extensive writing roll when numerous emails pop up to say, "Hey, I want to buy your stuff!"

That's a twofer. 

  Elizabeth Guy     
Editor    

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This issue 
was published 
under the musical 
influence of...



DANNY ELFMAN
Red Dragon
soundtrack